Those are the words that come to mind every day when I think about starting that training regimen I shared a few weeks ago. Which explains why my New Year's resolution has been to lose weight...every year since I started college...in 1993!!!
I'm not a runner. I'm barely a walker. I stroll. Easily distracted by shiny objects. Who has grown overly attached to all garments in my wardrobe with elastic waistbands and shoes that don't require me to carry 200 lbs on the balls of my feet. This means that everything sexy and overpriced is gathering dust while I wear those baggy white capri pants for the sixth time this month. The black t-shirt is my best friend. I thank God for Tadashi...the brand that lets me wear an XL cocktail dress AND remain in denial that I am not even a size 14 anymore.
I'd like to blame it on Kabul. But Kabul didn't make me eat an entire box of Velveeta Shells and Cheese at 2am after a tequila binge. Once a month. Then again, I wasn't addicted to hulu.com before I deployed so maybe I can blame at least some of these extra pounds on the Taliban.
And so I answered Bertie's call. At the time I thought, "Why the hell not?" Now I can think of a million reasons. Damn.
I am Jen. On the right is my roommate, strolling/walking/running(ha!) partner, and fellow pansy Morgan.
Can't wait to meet you all in April. Hope to be able to fit into my clothes then too. :)
OHMYGOD, Jen-- this made me laugh out loud. OUT LOUD!!
ReplyDeleteFirst, God bless you for putting into words what I've been thinking for the last 3 months: elastic is AWESOME! (Less awesome is that my "fat jeans" are now my "maybe will fit again someday" jeans. Boo.)
Second, you remain a diva role model. You are AMAZING and the perfect friend to do this crazy walk/walk-run/run with.
I'm now sharing your motto: Stay calm and stroll on. ;)